What a thrill it is to conduct this interview with FaithWriters 500 member, Sherry Castelluccio. Sherry has certainly experienced more than her share of difficulties and if there is one word to describe her, it has to be "Overcomer." Join interviewer, Lynda Schab, as she talks in depth with Sherry about her writing, her family, and overcoming difficult circumstances with her testimony of God's goodness and faithfulness.

LYNDA SCHAB: Where did you grow up? And what was your childhood like?

SHERRY CASTELLUCCIO: I grew up in CA. When my parents were married, we moved around quite a bit and by the time I finished kindergarten I had gone to three different schools. My parents divorced when I was 8 and we (mom, brother, and I) moved to San Jose to be closer to my grandparents. We remained there until I was 16 and my brother and I moved in with my father. I've been in San Jose ever since.

My childhood was a dysfunctional, psychotic chaos. I've always been an introvert by nature, but back then it was a survival mechanism. The worse things got at home, the more I retreated into my books and journals. For some reason, I was addicted to The Babysitters Club books. I think it's because I wasn't allowed to have a life of my own, so to be able to read about other girls my age gave me some sort of comfort. I had friends from school that would invite me to hang out but I was always forbidden. I either had responsibilities at home or was told that my timing wasn't right. If I asked on a Monday (to go somewhere), I was told to ask again on Friday. If I asked on Friday, I was told that I waited too long to ask and was thereby already occupied. Pretty soon, my friends gave up trying to include me in their social lives.

There are many forms of abuse and it got to where I could tell what kind I was in for when I called home after school. Depending on the day, it would vary between severe emotional or verbal trauma and the occasional black eye or bloody lip. The older I got, the less physical the blows, but no less the break down of my confidence and security. I grew up believing that I was worthless, unlovable, and completely without rights. My days were spent going to school and then taking care of my younger brother and the house. I cooked, cleaned, did laundry—pretty much everything I do now—definitely not the things to learn at eight years old. When mom got home from work, I was beaten either with hateful words or hateful hands, or sometimes both. The idea that I would never be good enough was drilled into my head from the earliest memories. Talk of suicide was not uncommon and to this day, it seems to be a running theme with my mother. If life wasn't being kind to her, she either wished I was dead or she wished it for herself.

On the weekends, my brother, Matt, and I were often dragged around with her to her parties. We saw unspeakable things and there is much of that time that I have blocked out. There are actually whole sections of my life that I don't remember which is probably good. I do believe that God gives us that ability to block certain memories for a reason. Trying to recall something painful for the sole purpose of healing from it seems to do more harm than good. If it's gone, let it stay gone.

I came to a turning point during my last couple of years in high school. My P.E. teacher, Mrs. Keller, finally confronted me. I guess you can hide the pain for only so long before others start to take notice. I unloaded everything on this poor woman and told her what it was really like at home. The fact that I was treated like a best girlfriend in one instant, an insubordinate prisoner the next, and a mindless, brainless animal the rest of the time, had finally caught up with me. I don't remember most of that conversation and there aren't any special phrases that stick out in my mind. I just remember that she told me to get out and go somewhere safe and that I deserved to have a normal life. So I packed up and moved in with my father. I entered my senior year in a new school and never looked back. Although I'm sure Dad knew that he would have his hands full, I don't think he understood the magnitude of the decision he made to let my brother and me come and live with him. I sat him down one night and explained the rules. I told him that he was not allowed to hit me in the face or make fun of me in front of his or my friends. He was not allowed to tell me that he wished I was never born or that his life would be better without me. Basically, the only thing I required from him was that he love me because until that time, I didn't know what it felt like. Things were still difficult and I was still facing daily challenges. Yet, despite my obstacles, I felt real, unconditional and sacrificial love for the very first time.

LYNDA: Wow, Sherry. What a painful childhood. My heart breaks for the little girl you were and everything you had to endure. What happened after high school? Did you experience any after-effects from all those years of abuse?

SHERRY: After I graduated from high school was actually when I gave in to all the years of pain and neglect. I drank myself right into a mental hospital where I remained for three weeks. By then I was 19 and just beginning to hit my bottom. I started attending 12-Step classes, Recovery from Abuse classes and Anger Management classes. I had to literally learn how to function as a normal person. I was never taught how to balance a checkbook or pay rent or hold a job. I had no concept of accountability and not the foggiest idea of how to communicate my wants and needs in a constructive way. In retrospect, it probably wouldn't have hurt if I had found a communication class as well (laughs). I didn't learn that skill until I was married.

LYNDA: Where did God come in?

SHERRY: I accepted Christ when I was about 21, shortly following my graduation from the 12 Steps. Despite the pain of childhood abuse, I knew God had been walking with me. I grew up Catholic and we went to church every Sunday so I had the basics down pretty good. I knew all about the Trinity and how Jesus died on the cross for my sins. I did find it pretty ironic that we spent so much time in church, going to catechism and such while the rest of the week we lived the way we did. It just didn't make sense to me to stuff all this doctrine down my throat once a week while the rest of the time they acted like drunken terrorists.

I came to Christ when a woman asked me to share my "testimony". I told her how a man had prayed over me when I was in high school. "I felt my arms rising in the air and I had tears running down my face, and I knew God was there." She asked me to explain how this made me saved. Had I repented from drinking, going home with different guys, or any of the other stuff I was doing? Had I at any point asked Jesus into my heart and truly give my life to Him? That night on her living room floor, I finally surrendered. I repented for everything I had ever done and asked Jesus to come into my life.

LYNDA: I think it's so cool that today you are a pastor's wife. How did you meet your husband?

SHERRY: I met Kirk in the recovery center where I had attended all those classes. He was facilitating the men's anger group and I was co-facilitating the women's anger group. At this time in our lives, we were actually going through similar circumstances. His wife had recently left him for another man and I had just gone through a painful breakup. I think both of us were bound and determined that the next relationship we entered would be Christ centered with the goal of marriage. I don't think either of us would have settled for anything less. The fact that he was 13 years older than me was more of a concern for him than for me at the beginning. I was barely 22 years old while he was half way through his 30s. It was extremely awkward for my parents but in time they got over it. When we married he was a foreman for a major waterproofing company and coached his sons' soccer and baseball teams. About 2 or 3 years later our pastor asked him if he would be his second in command and take on associate pastor duties.
Shortly after that I joined the worship team and began my own journey of being in ministry. Since then, Kirk has been promoted to Project Manager and he has his own ministries outside of co-pastoring our small church. He visits prison inmates twice a month and preaches the gospel to them. He also has his own 12 Step ministry where he sponsors guys who are trying to get clean off of various addictions. He focuses on alcohol and drugs, but anyone who has any kind of an addiction is welcome to attend his classes. It is a real blessing to work alongside him in this area. Often times, he will bring home a guy who has had a real rough week in working the steps. I get to cook a big dinner and just offer any necessary encouragement.

LYNDA: You truly have a heart for women who are hurting.

SHERRY: I was once told that I am a born encourager. In spite of the constant negative messages I received as a child and the regular struggle with depression, I'm still an optimist. Because I've been through so much, my discernment meter is turned way up and I can usually tell when someone needs a hug or a word of encouragement. One of the greatest things I've learned from battling depression is that I do have choices and some things are within my control. Even if I wake up knowing I'm going to have a challenging day ahead, I can choose how I'm going to use it to my advantage. My body might be unwilling to cooperate but I can force my thoughts into submission. I can choose to get out of the house and do something for someone else. I can choose to listen to uplifting music or let the machine answer the phone instead of allowing a negative person to weigh me down.

Just being a source of peace and safety for the women who come to my church in an emotional shambles is a reward for me. I do whatever it takes to bring them back to a place where they can see God at work in their lives, that their situation is not as helpless as it appears, and that they are loved immeasurably. These are the messages I try and instill in other women. I've been known to buy winter coats for a struggling single mom, occasionally counsel a battered woman, and just love on someone in pain in whatever capacity is required at the time. Every now and then the Holy Spirit will speak to me and reveal something that is important for someone to know. The joy I get in knowing that I was obedient cannot be explained. Whatever God asks me to do for another woman- send an "I love you" email, pick up the phone, or take a few extra minutes after church- these are things that make me know God is using me and the gifts He's given me to help others in need. It makes me know that everything I have gone through has been for a purpose.

It's important for me to help other women because I experienced God's grace and mercy firsthand in my own life. When I was at a real low point, He sent specific people to come to my aid and minister to me. These women gave of their time, finances, and encouragement when I needed it most. I feel an obligation to those around me to offer the same services in return. I know where I came from and I don't ever want to go back. As long as I am serving others, the opportunity to sin or revert back to old behaviors won't be a temptation.

LYNDA: Let's talk about your writing. According to your FaithWriters profile, you've been writing since you were very young. Do you remember when the love for writing first developed? And what have you done to cultivate your gift?

SHERRY: When the Space Shuttle Challenger disaster struck, I was in the third or fourth grade. Our teacher had us all write our thoughts on the subject and how this incident impacted us. Apparently the higher-ups chose one or two stories from every class to publish in the local paper. When I saw my story with my name in black and white (can't remember where we were living at the time) it stirred something deep within me. I already loved to write but it was like a fire suddenly lit inside me. From that point on, I lived inside my journals. When I was a senior in high school I was taking a college prep English class. I wasn't doing too well because for the first time in my life I was being challenged academically and really didn't know how to handle the pressure. My senior exit project was a sink or swim situation. I was either going to do well on it and graduate or fail the class and have to go to summer school. With one well written paper about angels I went from a D plus to an A minus. That was when I knew in my gut that whatever profession or job I chose to pursue, writing would always be my first love.

Since high school, I have written articles for my local papers, The Antioch and Oakley Press and I've had my poem, The Cave printed in small print magazine, Safe Treasures. Then, in 2005 I joined Long Ridge. This course has been instrumental in teaching me how to write with the purpose of consistently getting published and learning how to market my work. I am also a volunteer contributor for The Cypress Times, an online newspaper based out of Texas. Editor, John Winder, actually found me and approached me about writing for him and recently requested that I start my own column. I promised him that after I finish this course I will be able to devote more time to the paper. Writing for the Cypress Times has been such an encouraging, fulfilling part of my life and I'm really thankful for the opportunity.

LYNDA: How did you find FaithWriters?

SHERRY: I was surfing the internet with the purpose of finding a good, solid writers website. I had specific things in mind that I was looking for. I wanted to find a place where I could learn everything there is to know about writing, a place where I could showcase my work in the hopes of developing contacts, and above all, a place where I could grow as a writer. When I stumbled upon Faithwriters, it felt like I had uncovered a gold mine. Aside from everything on my list being checked off, I found friendships and the love of God in a community that accepted me right where I was. I have learned so much about constructive criticism and red ink, how to keep writing when the well runs dry, and how much I have yet to learn. Raw talent will only get you so far. A serious writer must be willing to invest the time, money, and practice that is required. It can be a lengthy, difficult process but it's worth it if it's something you really want. I recently considered pulling out of the 500 because the economic crunch that's affecting my family. But this site has been a huge blessing to me over the years. I can't imagine it not being here because I've seen how it has helped me and so many others.

LYNDA: You mentioned that you are currently enrolled in the Long Ridge Writers Group. Tell us more about that.

SHERRY: I joined Long Ridge (http://www.longridgewritersgroup.com/) in December 2005 when I received one of their fliers in the mail. A few years back I had taken their entrance exam and passed right away. I was hooked up with an instructor but because of the timing and the things I was going through in my life, I never followed up. So when the opportunity came again, I jumped on it, thinking that if anything, I'll learn how to be a better writer. While a typical student takes about a year or two to complete the course, it's taken me twice as long because of all the activities and things I have going on. What's wonderful is that it's an at-home course and they are so flexible with deadlines. What they promise is that by the end of the course I will have completed two articles suitable for submission to an editor, college credits, and a diploma. Upon graduation I can take the credits I received and transfer them to the school of my choice if I decide to enroll down the road. Since I began, I have seen tremendous growth in my writing. I was very rough around the edges when I started and can see a great improvement in how I present my thoughts and ideas. My instructor, Evelyn (who just happens to be a Christian!), taught me about the "show, don't tell" technique and she's been working with me on organizing my thoughts in a more concise manner. With each completed assignment I get better and my confidence improves as a writer. I'm currently working on my 11th assignment and have only one more to go after that. I can't tell you how much I am looking forward to graduating and adding this course to my list of accomplishments.

LYNDA: Your enthusiasm makes me want to check it out.  Do you have any idea of where you might pursue publication, if at all?

SHERRY: The goal is that once I complete the Long Ridge course, I will have more freedom to sit down, map out an idea, and get to work creating something in the form of a novel that I can submit to an editor. So far, the assignments I have completed have prepared me for publication. My instructor was very impressed with my last assignment and told me that she's looking forward to my last two. I think she has more faith in my abilities than I do, which is always a bonus. It's good to know your teacher believes in you.

LYNDA: Tell us about your kids.

SHERRY: I have two step-sons and one daughter. Cody and Zach are 17 and (almost) 13, my daughter, Angelina is 6 going on 29. They are each unique and vastly different children, but so good. Cody is getting ready to graduate from high school which has really opened my eyes. For the past four years I have consistently found myself calling or emailing my father either thanking him for his patience with me when I was a kid or apologizing for the nightmares he had to endure with me. Having a full blown teenager and a pre-teen has been the biggest opportunity to seek God in prayer than I could have ever imagined. The sad thing is that most of my prayer time has been spent in repentance because I really have no idea how to relate to the poor guys. I've made plenty of mistakes but, thankfully, it would appear that they still kind of like me and have not dubbed me the evil step-mother. (Well, at least not to my face anyway.) They are completely respectful and understanding as we've worked out our differences. I've had to explain many times the handicap that comes with learning late in life how to communicate without screaming or using the silent treatment. These poor kids have seen me morph from a shy, moody, emotional train wreck into a somewhat mild tempered, loony, mom. Hopefully they won't need too much counseling when they move out.

Angelina is the princess. It looks like she has inherited the writing gene as well, and we're actually taking bets to see which one of us will complete and publish a novel first. She loves anything relating to reading and writing. Her teacher has informed me that she's very creative but, like her mother, tends to jump from one subject to another and needs work with staying focused and on track. I am so proud of all three of them and pray every day for God's will to be manifested in their lives and for His purposes to be made known to them. I have such high hopes and look forward to seeing what they will do with their talents and abilities.

LYNDA: On a fun note, name your favorite:

Music group: Third Day
Food: crab and potatoes (not necessarily together)
Book/Author: A Proper Pursuit by Lynn Austin. I'm also a Frank Peretti addict and Karen Kingsbury is high up on the list as well.
Color: Green
Television show: Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends- I don't have time for grown up tv (not that there's anything worth watching anyway). Miss Spider is the closest example to a Godly mother that I have ever seen on the television. I absolutely love her.
Bible verse: Jeremiah 29:11

LYNDA: What are your goals for the future, both personally and with your writing?

SHERRY: Short term goals- to complete my course work, get a break job on my car, and contribute more articles for The Cypress Times. Eventually, if John is still interested when the time comes, I would like to start my own column.

Long term goals- to become the wife and mother that God designed me to be, to write my first novel and get it published, and make writing my full time career.

LYNDA: Sherry, with everything you've gone through and have overcome, it's obvious that God has a great plan for your life. If anyone can achieve their goals, it's you!

What a blessing it's been to talk to you. You are a true inspiration and a beautiful woman, both inside and out. Thank you for taking the time to bare your soul and share your heart. May God continue to bless and use you for His glory.

To read Sherry's work, visit her FaithWriters profile here: http://www.faithwriters.com/member-profile.php?id=12479